Continuing the tradition of chaos and mayhem, the heirs to the Kingdom of Cujo will document their exploits and shennanigans. Follow them as they carry on in the spirit that we've all come to love...........and fear.

Sunday, July 23, 2017

Lenny Lenny Lenny!

 *******Scribe's Note:
         It has been brought to my attention that owing to his very thick Mexi-Spani-Russo-Celti-Anglo-Inuit accent, Squiggy's writings can be difficult to understand. Moving forward, I will attempt to modify and translate his words without altering the basic content or syntax. That being said, some of his words and terms still flummox me and will be included in their original form/spelling. I apologize in advance for any misunderstandings and wish you luck.
                                       D.D.

First of alls, I am vurry honored that so many pibbles have taken the times to red mah first poost. I supposes mebbe I chould scratch some mores wordses.

Todays I tink I chould tells you more abouts my leetle frend Lenny.

Lenny is, how you say? Ummmm.......crazy, insanes, loco, looney toons, squirrelly, psycho-nut, not right in his heads, certifiablys freaky and probably unstable. He es not only self-destructive, he es everyting else destructive.

If Lenny was a sammitch, he would be a peabut-nutter and nut sammitch served on a bed of nuts with two sides of nuts and a bowl of nuts for desserts (best paired with a fine nut wine). 

He tinks that dere are two types of tings on earths: Tings that are dead, and tings that needs killing.  

The she-pibble tinks that he is a alien.

There may be some truths in her theery. On the day that the leetle goof arrived, it was a dark and stormy nights. Suddenly in the darks, there appeared a very large, black space-um chip. I tink it came from the planet "Ford" and was obviously a chip of exploration because it saids "Expedition" on da side. A pibble I had never met before opened da back and pulled out a carrier ting dat had da Lenny inside it. She put the carrier ting inside my door and den ran back to her chip, yelling over her choulder "HE'S ALL YOURS NOW, AND MAY GOD HAVE MERCY ON YOUR SOLES!!".

I do not knows why God chould protect our feets, but mebbe it was an alien blessings.

When my pibbles opened the carrier ting, a little bitties bi-colored machine (pronounced ma-cheen) of destruction popped outs and attacked a bed poost. It has not stopped attacking tings since.

My pibbles call him a "rescue cat". All the cats in my house is "rescue cats", but in Lenny's case, I tink  it was the shelter that was "rescued" when they adopted hims.

Lenny has no fears. It no matters how bigs someting is, Lenny will attempts to kills it. Most cats try to kills small tings likes spideys, moosies, stringses and such. Lenny, he kills choos, boxes, sofas and large appliances.

Even as I writings this, he is chewing on the vacuum cleaners.

Mebbe the pibbles will come in soon and turn it offs.

3 comments:

Foods For Thoughts

Befores I begin talkings about da foods, I should tells you someting abouts da Lenny. Lenny has been learning to talks better.  He has ...