Halllooo! Is me, Squiggy.
Big tings has happens over dis Winters. Biggest ting is new beestie in house. Squiggy is no sure wheres dis ting comed from, but it is seeming to stays now.
Squiggy no like dis beestie. It has taken overs best napping spotz and is very rude. It always taking over da laps of da pibbles and no lets Squiggy near dem.
I am getting upsets just poosting about it, so I lets da Lenny tells you more.
Tis me! Ach, I'll be givin ye the telling of the foul beastie that has a'been makin of herself such a bother.
Fairst of all, she showed up one bonny evenin on mah back deck. "O' waily, waily!" she cried, "Imma sooch a poor, wee waif I am! Wontcha pleez be lettin me in and be givin dis unfortunate creeture a wee bite ta eat? Imma sooch a innocent babe froom da woods wit nary a catnip moosie to me name! O' waily, waily! I be sooch a good lass for ye!"
And so da bigguns, with soft hearts (and even softer heads) let da wee beastie into my hoose. Dey named her "Penny" and told the rest of us that she was to be our sister now and we were to be a-treatin her like she was a part of our clan.
Weeeeel, lemme just tell ye this! Nay a bigger mistake has ever been made in hissstory!
As soon as da bigguns let her in, yon Penny-beast commenced to a-hissin and a-screechin and a-poofin! She was makin a sound that can only be described as soundin like a drunken, syphilitic banshee who is havin da troubles O' da kidney stones!
Ummmm, excoose me Lennys, but how does you knows what a drunken, syphilitic banshee with kidney stones sounded likes?
Weeel, there was that one weekend a time ago when I got ahoold O'dat organic catnip dat Doc Lori brought me, and went feral fer a weekend, but...…...WAIT A TIC!! DIS IS NAY ABOOT ME, YE HAIRY HAGGIS! SHUTTOOP AN LEMME GIT BACK TO ME TELLIN!
Soooo anyways, dis Penny critter goes to yelling and a-screamin at everyone in sight. She chases da poor, wee old Jaq. She goes all berserker on da Squiggs. She even almost woke up the grit lump of Ivan!
O'course all dis commotion brought da bigguns a-runnin. They was a-shoutin and a-hollering and a-screamin…….MY NAME!!!!
This wasna my fault! Everybody knows dinna have a mean bone in me body.
But, da Penny, she is a wily lass. By da time da bigguns got to da room, she was just a-layin there like this:
Big tings has happens over dis Winters. Biggest ting is new beestie in house. Squiggy is no sure wheres dis ting comed from, but it is seeming to stays now.
Squiggy no like dis beestie. It has taken overs best napping spotz and is very rude. It always taking over da laps of da pibbles and no lets Squiggy near dem.
I am getting upsets just poosting about it, so I lets da Lenny tells you more.
Tis me! Ach, I'll be givin ye the telling of the foul beastie that has a'been makin of herself such a bother.
Fairst of all, she showed up one bonny evenin on mah back deck. "O' waily, waily!" she cried, "Imma sooch a poor, wee waif I am! Wontcha pleez be lettin me in and be givin dis unfortunate creeture a wee bite ta eat? Imma sooch a innocent babe froom da woods wit nary a catnip moosie to me name! O' waily, waily! I be sooch a good lass for ye!"
And so da bigguns, with soft hearts (and even softer heads) let da wee beastie into my hoose. Dey named her "Penny" and told the rest of us that she was to be our sister now and we were to be a-treatin her like she was a part of our clan.
Weeeeel, lemme just tell ye this! Nay a bigger mistake has ever been made in hissstory!
As soon as da bigguns let her in, yon Penny-beast commenced to a-hissin and a-screechin and a-poofin! She was makin a sound that can only be described as soundin like a drunken, syphilitic banshee who is havin da troubles O' da kidney stones!
Ummmm, excoose me Lennys, but how does you knows what a drunken, syphilitic banshee with kidney stones sounded likes?
Weeel, there was that one weekend a time ago when I got ahoold O'dat organic catnip dat Doc Lori brought me, and went feral fer a weekend, but...…...WAIT A TIC!! DIS IS NAY ABOOT ME, YE HAIRY HAGGIS! SHUTTOOP AN LEMME GIT BACK TO ME TELLIN!
Soooo anyways, dis Penny critter goes to yelling and a-screamin at everyone in sight. She chases da poor, wee old Jaq. She goes all berserker on da Squiggs. She even almost woke up the grit lump of Ivan!
O'course all dis commotion brought da bigguns a-runnin. They was a-shoutin and a-hollering and a-screamin…….MY NAME!!!!
This wasna my fault! Everybody knows dinna have a mean bone in me body.
But, da Penny, she is a wily lass. By da time da bigguns got to da room, she was just a-layin there like this:
"Lookit da cute, wee ting!" They shouted! "Lenny, how could ye be attackin such sweet lass?"
Weeel, Imma be telling ye, ye no can judge a calico by it's covering. Dis lil hell beast has completely taken over mah hoose.
But ye need not take to worryin. Me and da Squiggmoose, we be plottin. We are havin big brain-thoughts (Well, Squiggy's brain-thoughts are nay so big).
Fer now, weel be lettin her git cozy and comfy..... Soon da little harpy will be of the thinkin dat she is safe...... The wee lass will let down her guard....
Dis tri-colored terrorist will be brought doon from her high horsey. She shall be educated in the workins of dis clan.
Worry not yer noggins, Tuxies will prevail...….
To Be Continued......
Heads up Penny!
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