A Bad Penny Always Turns Up

Halllooo! Is me, Squiggy.

Big tings has happens over dis Winters. Biggest ting is new beestie in house. Squiggy is no sure wheres dis ting comed from, but it is seeming to stays now.

Squiggy no like dis beestie. It has taken overs best napping spotz and is very rude. It always taking over da laps of da pibbles and no lets Squiggy near dem.

 I am getting upsets just poosting about it, so I lets da Lenny tells you more.

Tis me! Ach, I'll be givin ye the telling of the foul beastie that has a'been makin of herself such a bother.

Fairst of all, she showed up one bonny evenin on mah back deck. "O' waily, waily!" she cried, "Imma sooch a poor, wee waif I am! Wontcha pleez be lettin me in and be givin dis unfortunate creeture a wee bite ta eat? Imma sooch a innocent babe froom da woods wit nary a catnip moosie to me name! O' waily, waily! I be sooch a good lass for ye!"

And so da bigguns, with soft hearts (and even softer heads) let da wee beastie into my hoose. Dey named her "Penny" and told the rest of us that she was to be our sister now and we were to be a-treatin her like she was a part of our clan.

Weeeeel, lemme just tell ye this! Nay a bigger mistake has ever been made in hissstory!

As soon as da bigguns let her in, yon Penny-beast commenced to a-hissin and a-screechin and a-poofin! She was makin a sound that can only be described as soundin like a drunken, syphilitic banshee who is havin da troubles O' da kidney stones!

Ummmm, excoose me Lennys, but how does you knows what a drunken, syphilitic banshee with kidney stones sounded likes?

Weeel, there was that one weekend a time ago when I got ahoold O'dat organic catnip dat Doc Lori brought me, and went feral fer a weekend, but...…...WAIT A TIC!! DIS IS NAY ABOOT ME, YE HAIRY HAGGIS! SHUTTOOP AN LEMME GIT BACK TO ME TELLIN!

Soooo anyways, dis Penny critter goes to yelling and a-screamin at everyone in sight. She chases da poor, wee old Jaq. She goes all berserker on da Squiggs. She even almost woke up the grit lump of Ivan!

O'course all dis commotion brought da bigguns a-runnin. They was a-shoutin and a-hollering and a-screamin…….MY NAME!!!! 

This wasna my fault! Everybody knows dinna have a mean bone in me body. 

But, da Penny, she is a wily lass. By da time da bigguns got to da room, she was just a-layin there like this:

"Lookit da cute, wee ting!" They shouted! "Lenny, how could ye be attackin such sweet lass?"

Weeel, Imma be telling ye, ye no can judge a calico by it's covering. Dis lil hell beast has completely taken over mah hoose. 

But ye need not take to worryin. Me and da Squiggmoose, we be plottin. We are havin big brain-thoughts (Well, Squiggy's brain-thoughts are nay so big). 

Fer now, weel be lettin her git cozy and comfy..... Soon da little harpy will be of the thinkin dat she is safe...... The wee lass will let down her guard....

Dis tri-colored terrorist will be brought doon from her high horsey. She shall be educated in the workins of dis clan. 

Worry not yer noggins, Tuxies will prevail...….  

To Be Continued......

Lennyage

Is me, Squiggy......

I know it has been long time since we poosted heres, but the Lenny has been using pooter to traces his incestry. Squiggy no has chance to be writing the poosts.

The Lenny spends much times on someteeng called Incestry.com.

Now the Lenny is readies to shares his results. So I turns it over to him.

Aye! I am back! Have ye missed me?

As yon bi-colored booby has just mentioned to ye, I 'ave been a-lookin into me own Lennyage an I 'ave mooch ta share wit ye!

First of all, I am froom a bonny place across the yon waters called Scootland.

No Lenny, you is from Sacremento.

SHUT OOP, YE PIEBALD PUSS! Tis my turn to be dooin the typin!

Anyhoo, as I was a-sayin before the interooptin, I am froom a bonny place called Scootland. I have traced my Lennyage all the ways back to me great, great, great, great....etc... grandpaps.

Me family comes froom a wee village in the Scootish Highlands called Kilmousie. Kilmousie is a verry picturesque village located on the western shore of  Loch Enloaden. 

Me great, great, great, great....etc..grandpap's name was Lenny The Bruise.

Lenny The Bruise (or as he was known to his friends: "Lenny The Bruise") was the first known tuxedo cat in all of Scootland (All other cats in Scootland at that time wore kilts).

He was the companion and part-time tormentor of the village idiot and part-time oatmeal sculptor known as Dougal McDunn. 

They spent days together, walkin along the loch, looking for keys and generally irritatin the local wildlife. In fact, they were were so irritatin that it wasna long before the resident dinosaur packed up his kit and resettled in some other loch. I forgit where that old lizzard finally settled, but I am sure that it is of nae consequence and will probably nay be heard from agin.

Soooo, Lenny The Bruise an' his servant Dougal spent their days a-wanderin around the loch an' their nights at the local tavern/laundromat/burger joint called "Mcdonald's, Fine Purveyors of Beer, Dry-Cleaning and Sandwyches Made of Ground Bovine, Cheese, Lettuce, Pickled Cucumbers, Onyons, Special Souse and Conveniently Served Betwixt Two Loaves of Somewhat Fresh Bread Products"  The proprietor would evenually move to America, drop the tavern/laundromat part of the enterprise and shorten the name to "Burger King".

The adventures of Lenny The Bruise and Dougal McDunn are extremely well-known to everyone who has ever visited Kilmousie and had a chance to visit the sanatarium, and been able to decipher the mumblings of the village idiot/ part-time oatmeal sculptor.

So now ye know the beginnins of me Lennyage. I am of the hoping that ye enjoyed it.